


Adventure While Working

by HansonPhreek



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-11
Updated: 2012-01-11
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7731754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HansonPhreek/pseuds/HansonPhreek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While attempting to drain her waterbed and then do laundry one day, something unexpected happens to Liz.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The format of this is a bit odd. It was written in an IM session I had with a friend so each line is an individual message from the chat. I might clean it up a bit some day, but for now it stays as is.

* Liz leaves computer to put away extra hose*

*In putting away hose, spills water all over the floor*

* Liz* Dammit. I thought all the water was out.

*Liz grabs nearest towel.... which just happens to be soaked. Tries to sop it up but in the process, just happens to spill more water*

* Liz checks cabinet for a dry towel* None. Damnit.

* Liz runs around house tying to find a dry towel.... spills more water on floor*

* Liz* Shit

* Liz finally finds a slightly dry towel* 

* Liz realizes how wet the thingies on the floor of the bathroom, the purple things, are.*

Fuck

* Liz shoves towel under them, hoping to keep the floor dry as much as possible*

* Liz* There.

* Liz takes towels to laundry room. She sees a monster trying to eat her huge pile of clothes.*

* Liz hits monster over the head with the wet towel. The monster spots Liz and growls*

* Liz* Oh NO. Bad idea.

*Liz runs to her room forgetting there is a door to the laundry room there and locks herself in. Monster comes through the other door and goes after Liz*

I knew I should have done my laundry earlier.

* Liz grabs nearest object. A stuffed monkey named Mojo. And uses it as a shield. Monster looks at Mojo and screams. *

*Monster * Ahhhhh. A monkey No!!! 

* Liz looks at MoJo* * Liz* Who would have guessed it. A Laundry Monster who's afraid of a stuffed monkey. Weird.

*In walks one of Chrissy's Leprechauns. *

* Leprechaun* I've seen weirder * Then walks out*

* Liz* Ok that was strange

* Liz decides it's time to do her laundry before it attracts another laundry monster.*

*Liz walks in to laundry room only too see another monster. This one smaller than the last. She pulls out her monsterdex* 

*MonsterDex: * Sock Monster. Smaller than a Laundry monster but more vicious. Most who see one never live to see the next day.

* Liz* Oh great. Just what I needed

*Liz looks at sock monster. Sock monster looks at Liz. They decide to have a staring contest.*

* Liz* How'd you get out?

*Sock monster blinks while thinking*

* Liz* Haha I win.

*Sock monster growls the leaps at Liz* 

* Liz* Oops.

* Liz runs for her life. Sock monster is close behind. Liz runs into her mom’s room and locks door. She can hear the sock monster clawing at the door and reaches for the nearest object.... a paperback romance novel. She waits for the monster to get through the door. It takes too long so she starts to read it*

* Liz* Hm.... might as well.

*Finishes the book. The sock monster is still clawing at the door*

* Liz* Hurry up and get through

*Sock monster claws one last time and rips the door out of the socket.*

* Liz* Finally

*Sock monster stairs at Liz dumbfoundedly. *

* Liz* Sorry. You were about to attack me.

* Sock monster* Thanks

*Liz* Anytime.

* Sock monster lunges at Liz. She throws book at him*

 

*Sock monster looks at book, throws it off to the side*

* Sock Monster* I'll read it later

*Sock monster again lunges at Liz. Liz screams. Missy walks by and everything stops. She says hi, uses the bathroom and then walks back past mumbling bye*

*Liz and the sock monster look at each other and shrug. Then sock monster go back to attacking and Liz goes back to screaming*

 

*Liz grabs the phone and is about to hit the sock monster with it when it rings* Hold on I have to answer it.

* Liz answers the phone. It's for her sister. She takes a message and hangs up*

* Liz * OK. Go on.

*Sock monster again attacks Liz and she hits it over the head with the phone*

*Sock monster* Ow. That hurt. *Starts crying* Why do you have to be so mean? *Runs back to the dryer where it belongs*

*Liz* Finally, I can do my laundry

*Walks back to laundry room and starts to sort laundry. Finds a quarter* Wow! A quarter. It's mine now.

*Tries to put it in a pocket then realizes she has no pocket. Shrugs and shoves it into her bra*

*Finishes sorting and debates with the voices on what load to do first*

*Liz* How about whites?

*Voice #1* No. Darks

*Voice #2* No. Colors

*Liz* Whites

*V. #1* Darks

*V#2*Colors

*Fighting continues for a while*

*Voice #3* Look If you all can't agree then I'll choose. We'll do colors.

*V. #2* Told you so.

*Liz throws the color load in to washer and dumps a shit load of detergent into it* 

*Closes lid and starts it. She then hears faint crying. Opens dryer and sees sock monster sobbing.*

* Liz* I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. You just wouldn't stop attacking me.

*Sock monster stops crying and smiles* *Sock Monster* It's ok.

Tada the end of my story. Everyone lives happily ever after.


	2. Attack of the File Cabinet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz now works in an office, what will happen this time?

I walked into work at the credit union one fair day, to my temporary job that I picked up through my mom, and when I went to get started, I found sitting at my computer a Post-It monster. It was huge and made out of not only Post-Its but also pens. It smiled, well if a Post-It monster can smile, and lunged at me. I screamed and when no one came to my rescue, I started pulling Post-Its off the monster and writing notes on them with pens. When the monster was small enough I laughed at it and it ran away crying. 

I smiled to myself, happy that I had defeated the mother; I had been fighting off smaller ones all week. But then I realized that Post-Its aren't a-sexual, which means there was a father. I decided I'd worry about that when I ran into the father.

I began working, getting folders, typing in numbers, and then sorting and putting back the folders. It gets rather boring after a while, so I decided to start email a friend of mine. I told her about the Post-It monsters and she just laughed, and then complained about the phone attacking her. I told her I'd get over there later in the week to diffuse that problem.

I decided it was too quiet, so I started to blare some music, when all of a sudden a giant music note came out of the speaker and started stalking me. "Why are you following me?" I questioned it.

The music note sang in response, "Because you were *trying* to sing, and I felt that you needed to know that you really need to warm up before you sing." 

"I know."

Then POOF it was gone. "That was rude... and weird."

I began working again, and when I went to go get more folders, the file cabinet began to attack me. It stood up and boomed, "What do you want with me? You come over here every five minutes, and take some of my insides, then put them back missing parts, Why?"

"Because it's my job..." I smiled silkily.

"Well STOP!"

"NEVER!!!!!!"

At this point the file cabinet started throwing folders at me, "You want the folders, well then take them!"

"ATTACK OF THE FILE CABINET!!!!!!!!!"

A few people crowded around the file room, laughed and then went back to work. I stood there, waiting for the cabinet to run out of folders, and when it did I said, "Do you know how long it's going to take to organize them again?" Then I started throwing the folders back at it. The cabinet started shrieking in pain and then shriveled back down to its normal size. "If you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen...or something like that..."


	3. True Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz now works as a cart pusher at a local grocery story. Will things keep being weird?

It was a cold fall day in the middle of October. The trees were losing their leaves, there was love in the air, and the wind blew around the carts in front of the new local Shoppers Food Warehouse. Liz chased after one such cart as it floated across the parking lot in a collision course with the black P.T. Cruiser with purple flames that Liz loved so very, very much. She stopped it just before they touched.

The Cruiser let out a sigh of relief and Liz gave it a questioning look. “Did you just sigh?” The Cruiser did nothing. It couldn’t let out it’s secret. Liz shrugged and took the cart back to the cart corral and sat on one of the bars there.

“Why’d you stop me?”

“What?” Liz was scared; she glanced around, trying to find the source of the voice. But there was no one to be found.

“Why’d you stop me from hitting that car?”

“Excuse me? Who are you?”

The cart rolled forward and glared at Liz, yes carts can glare (if you don’t believe me, next time you go shopping take some time and give your cart a good look).”Why’d you stop me from hitting that car.”

“Cause I love it.”

“Then why don’t you marry it?”

“I think I just might.”

Liz walked over to the Cruiser and the wind messed with her hair. “Stop it!” she yelled in the direction the wind came from and it stopped. Liz smiled and fixed her hair. She reached the Cruiser and kneeled in front of it. “Will you marry me?”

The Cruiser smiled, “Yes.”

A minister and a court official suddenly appeared. The first to perform the ceremony and the second to do the paper work. The ceremony was over as fast as it began and Liz found herself signing the papers to make it official. Liz stood with her new husb…wif…spouse. She still wasn’t sure if the Cruiser was a guy or a girl. Liz gazed at the Cruiser happily and didn’t notice the half-naked tree slowly creep up behind her.

“So, you’re the slut that married my man?”

“I ain’t no slut. And the Cruiser’s mine.”

“No he’s mine.” The tree smacked Liz.

“How rude.” Tears welled up in her eyes as she put a hand on her cheek.

“I’m not yours, I’m Liz’s. Now go away.” The Cruiser said coldly to the tree.

“Fine, but you have no idea what you’re missing out on,”

“Whatever,” the Cruiser stood next to Liz, protectively. The tree sulked away.

“I love you, Cruiser.”

“I love you, Liz.”


End file.
